THIS STORY is unique.
This story right here, has been told to nearly every single person I've ever wanted to make laugh in my whole entire life- it is that story.
Now I will stop misusing the bold, and get on with it.
I have this friend, his name is .. let's call him Jeremy.
Jeremy is a guy I met in my first year of college and is notoriously known for being a man-slut.
In his first year of university he went back with a 23 year old nurse from a nightclub and ended up getting a taxi home at two in the morning after she professed her ever-aflame love for him-
-Just after they had finished having sex.
Jeremy has dated nearly every female he has ever known, and has been relentlessly fancied by all the others.
Jeremy has a chin-dimple like John Travolta.
Jeremy once dated a girl who was so desperate for his attention, when he went on holiday, she told him she was pregnant so he'd spend the entire trip "thinking of her" (but that's another story for another time).
But this story (sorry about the bold, I know I promised), is the one that everyone remembers more than all the others:
The Story of £20.
So Jeremy has a lot of friends of the female persuasion, and, like I mentioned earlier, he has either dated them before or they fancy the pants of him- £20 (as her nickname now is, you'll find out why) just so happened to be one of these girls.
Although she had always taken it a step further.
Now, although there is not doubt that Jeremy has always enjoyed the female attention, i'm sure hearing of £20 drawing up a spider-diagram in her English textbook on what he brings to her mind... wasn't exactly something that brought a warm smile to his face.
Especially when the main points were Sex, Obsession and Jealousy.
WTH.
Also consider, if you would, that £20 is a huge troll of a girl- she is tall, often described as not having a shape, but as having 'shapes', a face that makes Voldemort look like Emma Watson, and clothes that you'd only really like to see on Megan Fox.
Onwards...
So this one time, Jeremy and £20 went out together as friends, of course.
They went to catch a film and probably a McDonalds, and later Jeremy was just being a gent, and was walking her home when she 'jokingly' asked: "Jeremy, would you ever have sex with me?"
Jeremy then responded, 'jokingly': "Only if you paid me!"
Oh, guess what?So they get to just outside of £20's house and she turns to him with a desperate look in her eye and says, "Jeremy, i'll pay you."
Now...
Now...
Instead of thinking like a normal person, Jeremy is a bit of a freak himself really, and the first thing that came to his mind wasn't, "Oh, I should probably let her down gently, then run as far as I possibly can." Nor was it, "Oh, I should probably just run as far as I possibly can."
Oh no.
Jeremy wasn't doing so well for money that month, and had a drama trip coming up that needed paying for, which would come to a grand total of....................you guessed it................. £20.
According to Jeremy, after all had been said and done, she had tried to offer him more but he didn't want to rip her off.
So ladies and gents, if you want to have sex with my friend Jeremy, it'll be Twenty English Pounds for a quick wank, then an even quicker insertion, which thereafter he shall claim that he has cum and will be on his way.
I've heard it is worth it.